The Year's Worst Country Song Titles

* If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
* Timber, I'm Falling in Love
* You're the First Time I Thought About Leaving
* Love Will Beat Your Brains Out
* You Can Tell the Man Who Boozes (By the Company He Chooses)
* I Think I'll Drink Myself Into the Past
* I Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over You
* Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
* The Pint of No Return
* Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns
* Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
* It Ain't Love but It Ain't Bad
* Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone
* I'd Rather have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy
* Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You (on the Way Out)
* You're Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
* This Time I'm Gonna Beat You to the Truck
* You Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often
* Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
* I Forgot How Bad My Good Woman Could Be
* You Done Stomped on My Heart (and Smashed That Sucker Flat)
* Let Me Love the Leavin' from Your Mind
* Somebody Shoot Out the Jukebox
* My Legs Won't Walk Away From You
* What's a Fool Like Me Doing In a Love Like This
* I've Been Roped and Throwed by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral
* If You Can Live With It (I Can Live Without It)
* She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)
* Hell Stays Open All Night
* I'd Be Better Off in a Pine Box
* I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
* Bridge Washed Out, I Can't Swim and My Baby's on the Other Side
* The Worst You Ever Gave Me Was the Best I Ever Had
* If the Phone Doesn't Ring It's Me
* I've Got a Funny Feeling (I Won't Be Feeling Funny Very Long)
* Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger (When You Go Out at Night)
* How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That's 32?
* I Knew I'd Lean (But I Never Thought I'd Fall)
* She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye
* We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
* You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
* If You Keep Checking Up on Me (I'm Checking Out on You)
* It Don't Hurt Half as Bad as Holding You Feels Good
* I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
* I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
* I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
* Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
* Heaven's Just A Sin Away
* She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
* If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
* I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
* She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
* Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
* The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"
* When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
* You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
* He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk
* I Bought the Boots That Just Walked Out On Me
* Ever Since I Said "I Do," There's a Lot of Things You Don't
* The Next Time You Throw That Fryin' Pan, My Face Ain't Gonna Be There


I've seen two different attributions for this. Take your pick:
By Mike Harden, Scripps Howard News Service; or
Found in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Also, the last three were provided by lsocea@ascolta.com.

taylor@ecn.purdue.edu